graduation: the start of a new chapter.

i crossed a line five years in the making
that the biggest eraser can’t clear.

–this is the sweetest little song, butch walker. 

 
 Photo credit to Amber

Five years, and far more stories than I would have ever imagined.
Today, I close this chapter in the story and move on to the next one, with the storyline embedded deep within me.
 
These five years are worth far more than a piece of paper and these pictures. The last five years are the story, the experiences, the process. And this day, this piece of paper may symbolize that I can put the things I know onto papers and into practice, but only to an extent.
The degree, Bachelor of Physical and Health Education, implies much about what I have learned outside of myself: in no way can those six words even begin to indicate what I learned inside myself and what I—and those around me sharing this story–changed inside myself. And that the change inside me is far more crucial to my ability to connect with others than most things I could ever be assessed on.
 
The last five years are not about this moment: they are about the collection moments that lead me here.

connect the dots there is a picture in these lines
my favourite parts of life are in the nights of better sleep i never find.
but even if i don’t decide to chase my dreams, i won’t throw them away
[…] i won’t forget everything i wen through to get here
but i haven’t decided if here is quite where i belong.
—where i belong, farewell fighter
 
 
They are about the process.
 
 
 
The people.
 
 
 
 
 
Photo credit to Becki
 
 
 
The story.
 
 
And what’s ahead.
 
Note: I’ll be updating this post with more pictures/quotes over the next few days… Check back :].

“experience is what you get, when you didn’t get what you wanted”

I’ve received some good advice on the topic of failure, probably for the best that I received this advice prior to actually accomplishing my first university failure. Unofficial anatomy marks went up last week, and realistically, not even a curve can save me–I got an F.

The word failure, though, to me implies that I didn’t try my best. That I didn’t work hard and that I didn’t engage as deeply as I could. That I didn’t work for it. And I worked for it. I worked for the 37% that I got.  I did two tutoring sessions a week for a month. I did hours of revision and notes. I consumed a ton of iced coffee [caffeine doesn’t do much for me, so this was purely to add some joy to the agony within the form of a venti iced white mocha].

And fortunately, as it always seems to cycle back to all of Jay’s words in Physical Activity: Promotion and Adherence: I am more than my grades, and my grades do not define who I am as a person. And at least I know 37% more for when I re-engage in the journey of anatomy for September.

Experience is what you get, when you didn’t get what you wanted.

Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Experience. I got it.

the status of my thyroid, education, travel plans, racing . . . and a guitar pick

Here is another one of those iamtheworstbloggereveritsbeenforeverandileftyouallwithacliffhangerohmygod posts. Now that we have that over with . . .

Appointment update. I saw the doctor on Monday. My iron is way lower than it should be, so I am supplementing with essentially as much as my body can tolerate [which is essentially the nice way of saying: take as much as you can because this is not good, a nutritional re-vamp is not enough alone, lady. Fine then. At least chocolate milk has iron in it?]

As for the thyroid, my TSH [thyroid stimulating hormone] is borderline high. So when we go re-test the iron in August, we will re-test the thyroid. Essentially, and it is kind of confusing, high TSH = lower thyroid hormone production; low TSH = high thyroid hormone production. So there you go.] The short story is that while I do not fully have hypothyroidism yet, however, it could go either way: best case, it corrects itself [this is what the internet tells me might happen, so I am not overly optimistic], otherwise, my thyroid hormone production will keep dropping, therefore my TSH will keep going up, and I will have hypothyroidism. So it is the game of wait-and-see, which kind of sucks more than just getting the diagnosis over with.

School update. So alongside this, I am also failing anatomy. I’ve been doing twice-weekly tutoring sessions with my friend/now-coworker Danielle and making flash cards and filling out charts, and all that supposed goodness. There is just so much stuff to remember, and this class is hard. I have five days left, so fingers crossed I make it through this and don’t have to repeat come Fall. I filled out eight pages of muscle charts today, and there is more to come, plus a tutoring session tomorrow. I am so close, but so far from being close enough. I’ve had so many of these close calls with dumb classes this year, like Principles of Coaching, but this is by far the closest aside from Intro Kinesiology where I failed pretty hard early on and then pulled myself up to a B. So there is hope to pass, but I’m just riding it out and not holding my breath on anything. i’m working hard, but it’s just nerve-wracking to have 50% of my grade riding on a 27-hour span of time. Three. More. Days.

Also thanks to studying, I’ve eaten like a third of a pan of rice krispy cake today [my mom put chocolate chips in it. Who can resist chocolate chips?]. And likewise have gotten no exercise.

QUEBEC. The Asthma Society of Canada booked my flight to Quebec City for August. I am so amped. Except I need to probably learn some French beforehand. it’s going to be a whirlwind trip, as I will be in-and-out of Quebec City in 33 hours and back home in just over 40. Or something. [I’m bad at math at the best of times and it’s currently 12:10 AM.]

Race training. And, another exciting bit! As soon as this exam is over, I’m kicking up the training for the Canadian Diabetes Association 10K walk in September! Wanna support me in the race and support Canadians living with diabetes? Hit up my fundraising page! Live in my area and want to race with us? Shoot me an e-mail.  I’ve got hopes to get “team” shirts made, and hopes to rock a blue tutu on race day!  With props to Jay, we’re going to be called Good Things Run on Insulin, and it’s going to kick ass.

Speaking of kicking ass . . . This is me on Friday. Rocking my You Can Do This Project t-shirt, kids’ scarves [one of which happened to be blue for Blue Friday ;)] and my sweet new ID necklace from Lauren’s Hope! :] [To follow up on a previous entry, I am not continuing my MedicAlert membership after August. They offered to decrease my membership fee from $5 to $4 a month, but why should I when that doesn’t help anybody but me? i’ll be rocking my cool Lauren’s Hope ID, hunting down an epic interchangable bracelet, and sporting some Road IDs [I can get multiple Road IDs for the same price as a MedicAlert sportband. Boooom!]  Anyway, oh my goodness, look how kick ass this necklace is!

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12 of 12 – february ’12!

On the 12th of each month, a bunch of bloggers from around the world take 12 pictures of their day and blog them.  Here are my pictures for February 12th, 2012!

12 of 12 - february '12

8:50 am – church. Yeah, we currently have a giant Rubiks Cube [each edge is six feet] hanging in church to accompany the IT’S COMPLICATED series we just began. It’s pretty awesome.

12 of 12 - february '12

10:05 am – church. Between services, scouting out the recycling bin for my Starbucks cup. [My friend forgot the non-fat, no-whip bit, but I love her anyway :)].

12 of 12 - february '12

12:24 pm – church. Who did you meet this week?  Snapped a picture of this after taking care of the 3 + 4 year olds :].

12 of 12 - february '12

3:13 pm – kitchen at home. I hung out with my cousin, Dean, yesterday and we went to our grandparents’ for dinner. We brought dessert, except my grandma made PUMPKIN PIE, so we had leftovers. So I got to bring dessert home.

12 of 12 - february '12

4:48 pm – kitchen. Final exam schedule for the term. Is it over yet?  Midterm madness tomorrow and Tuesday, so really it is only just beginning.

12 of 12 - february '12

4:57 pm – kitchen. Energy systems anybody?  This stuff is all on my Principles of Coaching exam tomorrow. I am kind of scared, but not nearly as scared as I am for my Physical Growth and Motor Development midterm on Tuesday.

12 of 12 - february '12

6:03 pm – kitchen. Pizza for dinner. It involved various coupons and my mom and I having to go in separately to pick up two pizzas.  Also I ran into a guy who graduated high school a year before me and is dating somebody I graduated with, so we got to make small-talk. That’s always fun.

12 of 12 february '12

6:34 pm – kitchen. Probably the most ridiculous BBM conversation I have ever had. And perhaps the most ridiculous conversation I have had with Dean [and trust me, that says a lot].

12 of 12 - february '12

6:48 pm – kitchen. Charging my fitbit for the week or however long this thing lasts. Love it.

12 of 12 - february '12

9:33 pm – kitchen. Currently reading Matthew Good’s book. It’s so weird. I thought it was going to be like a memoir or whatever, but it’s basically a bunch of short stories and/or he is teaching you to fake multiple personality disorder or become an anti-nausea med addict.  Probably fictionally, but since I will never try I will never know.

12 of 12 - february '12

10:29 pm – kitchen. Yes, I feel like I haven’t left my kitchen all day.  Also I’ve been eating these cookies off and on all day. They are so good.  Freaking studying.

February 12 of 12

10:56 pm – kitchen. This is my pile of studying crap and textbooks I don’t actually read much.  That’s an issue and I need to work on it the next half of the term.

12 of 12 – january ’12!

On the 12th of each month, a bunch of bloggers from around the world take 12 pictures of their day and blog them.  Here are my pictures for January 12th, 2012!

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6:58 am – bathroom. As you can see, I’m doing the 12 of 12 pictures on my BlackBerry this month.  Here’s one of those “I AM USING MY SMARTPHONE IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR TO SHOW YOU I HAVE A SMARTPHONE!” pictures.

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7:57 am – gym at work. This is my friend Jess!  We work together and take semi-blurry morning pictures in the gym apparently!  We played soccer this morning [by which I mean we WATCHED THE KIDS play soccer this morning].

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8:20 am – gym at work. I spent far too much time deliberating what CAHPERD stood for [I couldn’t remember the R and the D], so I eventually made a mad sprint over to the banner to read it.  Canadian Association for Health and Physical Education, Recreation and Dance.  I think these banners are like, mandatory or something.  Also note the ball thing that looks like a smiley face.

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8:56 am – bus stop. Nothing like being outside waiting for the bus before even technically being off work! [We’re scheduled till 9, but the kiddos are gone at 8:45].

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12:09 pm – cafe. BRAP!  (Can someone enlighten me on the lingo?) The cafe has these nifty clear signs so as not to obstruct windows and fit in with the design and such.  These caused me to abandon Sam in the cafe, run up the stairs to grab my phone which was sitting by Tara, and then run back down to the cafe.  And, I got back before my London Fog was even ready!

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12:26 pm – athletic centre nap area. London fog in hand, time to get a little reading in before class.  Fit & Well seems like way too fluffy of a name for a book for a course called Scientific Principles of Fitness and Conditioning.

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3:47 pm – mom’s office. I took the liberty of putting my mom’s gone for the day sign up in her office

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4:28 pm – superstore. Look at the pretty balloons in the produce section! :]

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4:35 pm – superstore. Frozen pizza for dinner.

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4:41 pm – superstore. I’ve been on this epic mission for Special K Protein Plus. I think it is an American thing, as I cannot find it.  It has 10 grams of protein, and protein is kind of important . . . being a vegetarian, a little bit more focus on protein becomes that much more important.  Unfortunately, Protein Plus still has an edge on this stuff . . . it has 2 grams of sugar while Satisfaction has 13.  Why they’re sugaring up a perfectly good cereal is a mystery to me.  It’s also pretty high in sodium . . . I didn’t realize the sugar content till later, so yes, we bought it. (It’s okay, but that’s probably thanks to the 13 grams of sugar.)

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5:03 pm – kitchen. My beautiful friend Sara Brown in TO sent me some info on Visalus shakes and some samples — gonna try one tomorrow I think!  And as I’ve told Sara, while I believe that nutrition should come primarily from food, I know that sometimes that’s tough–especially with that protein factor as mentioned above.

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8:53 pm – kitchen. Here’s my Fitbit! (Review to come in a few days as requested by Mike!)  While my steps have risen by a few since taking this picture, I am definitely realizing how much harder it is to get the 10,000 steps in without working out — even if I did take sixteen flights of stairs today!  I actually LOVE this thing.  [To compare, yesterday I was at 12,084 . . . so basically double what I’ve done today].  Today was a rest day, fitness gains come in letting the body heal!  Back at ‘er tomorrow!  Also, how cute is my belt?

 

12 of 12 was created by Chad Darnell — and even though Chad is no longer hosting 12 of 12, it doesn’t feel right to end without giving him some credit!