advocacy / asthma / being a student / kinesiology / race training

the status of my thyroid, education, travel plans, racing . . . and a guitar pick

• by kerri

Here is another one of those iamtheworstbloggereveritsbeenforeverandileftyouallwithacliffhangerohmygod posts. Now that we have that over with . . .

Appointment update. I saw the doctor on Monday. My iron is way lower than it should be, so I am supplementing with essentially as much as my body can tolerate [which is essentially the nice way of saying: take as much as you can because this is not good, a nutritional re-vamp is not enough alone, lady. Fine then. At least chocolate milk has iron in it?]

As for the thyroid, my TSH [thyroid stimulating hormone] is borderline high. So when we go re-test the iron in August, we will re-test the thyroid. Essentially, and it is kind of confusing, high TSH = lower thyroid hormone production; low TSH = high thyroid hormone production. So there you go.] The short story is that while I do not fully have hypothyroidism yet, however, it could go either way: best case, it corrects itself [this is what the internet tells me might happen, so I am not overly optimistic], otherwise, my thyroid hormone production will keep dropping, therefore my TSH will keep going up, and I will have hypothyroidism. So it is the game of wait-and-see, which kind of sucks more than just getting the diagnosis over with.

School update. So alongside this, I am also failing anatomy. I’ve been doing twice-weekly tutoring sessions with my friend/now-coworker Danielle and making flash cards and filling out charts, and all that supposed goodness. There is just so much stuff to remember, and this class is hard. I have five days left, so fingers crossed I make it through this and don’t have to repeat come Fall. I filled out eight pages of muscle charts today, and there is more to come, plus a tutoring session tomorrow. I am so close, but so far from being close enough. I’ve had so many of these close calls with dumb classes this year, like Principles of Coaching, but this is by far the closest aside from Intro Kinesiology where I failed pretty hard early on and then pulled myself up to a B. So there is hope to pass, but I’m just riding it out and not holding my breath on anything. i’m working hard, but it’s just nerve-wracking to have 50% of my grade riding on a 27-hour span of time. Three. More. Days.

Also thanks to studying, I’ve eaten like a third of a pan of rice krispy cake today [my mom put chocolate chips in it. Who can resist chocolate chips?]. And likewise have gotten no exercise.

QUEBEC. The Asthma Society of Canada booked my flight to Quebec City for August. I am so amped. Except I need to probably learn some French beforehand. it’s going to be a whirlwind trip, as I will be in-and-out of Quebec City in 33 hours and back home in just over 40. Or something. [I’m bad at math at the best of times and it’s currently 12:10 AM.]

Race training. And, another exciting bit! As soon as this exam is over, I’m kicking up the training for the Canadian Diabetes Association 10K walk in September! Wanna support me in the race and support Canadians living with diabetes? Hit up my fundraising page! Live in my area and want to race with us? Shoot me an e-mail.  I’ve got hopes to get “team” shirts made, and hopes to rock a blue tutu on race day!  With props to Jay, we’re going to be called Good Things Run on Insulin, and it’s going to kick ass.

Speaking of kicking ass . . . This is me on Friday. Rocking my You Can Do This Project t-shirt, kids’ scarves [one of which happened to be blue for Blue Friday ;)] and my sweet new ID necklace from Lauren’s Hope! :] [To follow up on a previous entry, I am not continuing my MedicAlert membership after August. They offered to decrease my membership fee from $5 to $4 a month, but why should I when that doesn’t help anybody but me? i’ll be rocking my cool Lauren’s Hope ID, hunting down an epic interchangable bracelet, and sporting some Road IDs [I can get multiple Road IDs for the same price as a MedicAlert sportband. Boooom!]  Anyway, oh my goodness, look how kick ass this necklace is!

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health + fitness / life

the butterfly flew away: hypothyroidism [and anemia]

• by kerri

Friday: The light on the answering machine flashes. One week and one day since blood work. It’s kind of surreal knowing that the substance flowing through my body keeping me alive could also be cluing us in to something.

270877_10151770095785375_384334416_n.jpg[Blood work on May 31 after my physical; I have teeny veins apparently which required the use of the butterfly needle]

The hesitant call back to the doctor’s office to find the line busy. The second call after the agonized waiting. Getting put on hold.  The continued waiting. The click back on the line.

“She [the doctor] wants to talk to you about your blood work.” Kathy the phone lady [who may actually be Cathy, who knows] tells me.

I’ve learned from some of the best. I am not waiting a minute longer. “Is it the thyroid or the iron?” Cutting to the chase.

“Both.”

I close my eyes as I sigh and mumble something to Kathy that I can’t remember.

The iron I was sure was eventually coming. Five years into becoming a vegetarian who doesn’t pay a huge amount of attention to nutrition like I know I should, it’s whatever. I’ll go in and get the lecture next week. I’ll work on it in the meantime.

The thyroid flag is probably hypothyroidism, of which I have some symptoms after consulting Dr. Google on hypothyroidism. Lazy butterfly-looking gland, what did I ever do to you?

So what happens? I get the results. I make the follow-up appointment for next Monday as it is not urgent. And then the classic tiredness that is hallmark of both anemia and hypothyroidism hits. I sleep eleven hours on Saturday night, nearly four and a half of them with my iPod on playing Brian Strean. I realize all the “random bruises” probably weren’t so random. I realize there is probably more than meets the eye. Isn’t everything?

It’s not a big deal. It’s just a pill a day. I think we caught it early, but I have no idea. Of course, at times over the last three days I’ve just wondered “what’s next?”. And for the millionth time “why?”. It’s that “one more thing”.

Even though I know I can do this, it’s that all-shaking addition . . . “for the rest of your life”. It’s that part that sucks the most.

edit: it’s been a few years since i wrote this, but all other thyroid checks have come back as normal–I’m not sure why the blip in my lab work, but as of my last T3/T4/etc. check in February-ish 2014, things looked fine.

asthma / life

day of visibility: this is asthma.

• by kerri

June 6th is the “Day of Visibility” for people living with invisible diseases.

Most of the time, I look like a completely healthy twenty-one year old.

And I work hard to stay that way :].

I ride my bike [complete with the classic awkward nose zit. Twenty-one, that still happens].

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Get entirely too excited about doing the track at school with my friend Sam . . .

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Travel . . . and jump a lot and wear ridiculous outfits.

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Rock out on the beach . . .

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Go for “photo shoot walks” with friends.

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And generally do awesome shit.

But there’s the other part. The part where I manage an invisible chronic disease every day. The part where the only visible signs of this disease might be the medical ID bracelet that would have been on my left wrist in each of the above pictures or the blue inhaler in my pocket.

The part where I take multiple medications a day to stay healthy. The part where I inhale and snort steroids [corticosteroids] to decrease the inflammation in my lungs and sinuses. The part where I take three maintenance inhalers a day to try to keep things this way.

The part where I am working to stay healthy by taking my medicine and staying active and keeping myself in a sense of balance.

The part where I look healthy, but I’m exhausted but I am sick and fighting it out.

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The part where I do the best I can, increase my meds as I’m supposed to, and still that’s not good enough.

The part where I’m ready to just say “fuck asthma”.

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And the part where I cycle back to the first section.

The part where I live my life in a sense of coexistence with this disease that you can’t see on the outside.

The part where I do awesome shit.

The part where I know I can do this, even when it’s hard.

The part where I live my life.

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asthma / life / music

twenty-one in twenty-twelve . . . continuing the good things

• by kerri

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With anatomy, work, class and a crazy week in the mix last week, I feel like [aside from yesterday] I have not blogged in forever. And this is accurate. Caroline jolted me into this realization that i have been a less than attentive blogger the last couple weeks.

I declared 2012 to be the Year of Good Things. It is delivering.

I turned 21 last Monday. Last Saturday my aunt made me this:

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I went to my fourth Switchfoot concert, which was amazing. There was a spontaneous chant for moustaches. I fell in love with The Rocket Summer because of this concert.

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Medicine-X

I am excited that I will be attending the Medicine-X conference in Palo Alto, California!  As I mentioned previously, Stanford has graciously awarded many ‘ePatients’ with “scholarships” to the conference. For me, this includes the conference, accommodation for three nights, and a good portion of my airfare. I am VERY excited to meet so many people who I have connected with online, and who I have yet to connect with in September! I’m SO excited to meet Kim and hopefully Cherise at the conference as well as hang out with Steve in San Francisco the day I get in.

But before that . . .

World Congress on Asthma

In 2010, I partnered with the Asthma Society of Canada as a member of the National Asthma Patient Alliance Executive committee. I was finally able to attend a conference call in May, and engaged with many amazing, passionate people with my laryngitis voice. A few months ago we were supposed to attend an event in Toronto which did not work out, but we will be meeting in person in Quebec City this summer at the World Congress on Asthma! I am very excited for this opportunity and to be among the handful of patients attending the conference. During my time in Quebec City, I plan to meet with two of North America’s most prominent asthma researchers, Dr. Sally Wenzel and Dr. Dilini Vethanayagam, and am very excited to meet both of them in person after multiple e-mails not only about asthma research, but improving the patient support experience.  As a part of this, I hope to be able to connect with those in my own community (such as Cathy on the NAPA executive with me) and across the country, and around the world.

I’m also hoping to walk the Diabetes Run for the Canadian Diabetes Association in September, along with the small-town Imagine Mental Health race I’ve done the last two years. I suppose I’d better get training!

dare you to move / health + fitness / kinesiology

make it happen.

• by kerri

When I finished tutoring at the end of Winter term, I said to the student i was working with “You know this stuff now. Implement it — make it happen”. The guy I was tutoring had a lot of really good, creative reflections on the course content of Issues in Health. He knew the content. He knew how to implement the content. Now it was beyond ‘course content’ and had become ‘choice’, and was in his hands.

I am the first to admit that knowing it is the easy part. Doing it, on the other hand, is another story. Some more than others, but we all are aware, to some degree, of which activities/behaviours promote our health, and which behaviours are detrimental to our health. I’ve said it before, that I spend all day (and sometimes night) long some semesters learning about health and wellness. Today, for example, though not the most wellness-promoting, I wrote an anatomy exam, wrote a lab quiz, then came home and ate Sweet Chili Heat Doritos while on Skype for hours.  Still, I am in the same environment as I was the past two terms, but the content around me has changed and thus my behaviour has changed. February and March, for example, I spent tons of afternoons in the gym for class, plus regular exercise outside of class. Last May I was in a physical-activity oriented class.  Each hill and valley in the below graph I have either an understanding of why I was successful, or an excuse for why my numbers [kilometers] are lower:

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I think often that my last year seems to have been in two parts: Before Promotion and Adherence and After Promotion and Adherence, with a transition period in between when the course was occurring. The transition period was like my intervention. I was surrounded by Good Things two days a week, by words and motivation and people who were fighting the same battles as I was: the balance of school, work and maintaining a specific level of physical activity. Some also with the additional mixer of unpredictable chronic disease affecting their routines.

This said, my environment on the whole did not change. I was still surrounded by the same people with the same goals [or a different array of the same people with the same priorities] but it wasn’t freely discussed. We weren’t bouncing ideas off each other all the time, like the discussions about reading textbooks on the stationary bike, or having accountability partners, or eating five bowls of cereal a night [that happened. Not to me, but to people in my class. So good.]

It is not about that that class is done. it is not about my asthma sidelining me for over two weeks. It is not about the anatomy midterm sucking the proverbial life out of me.

It’s about me. It’s about my choices. It’s about me finding ways to continue that process that started nine months ago and do what i am capable of, and then some.

It’s about getting back into it.

I know it. I know what I should be doing and I know how to do it. Now I just have to implement it.

Make it happen.


note: there is some crazy thing going on with my tags. i’ve got tech support and my friend Mike on it :].