asthma / badassmatics / health + fitness / wellness

exercise and chronic disease : sharing my asthma story

• by kerri

I’ve written exactly one blog post about the intersection of exercise and asthma.  Given the fact that asthma management is a pretty big modifier in how I exercise, and that both topics are really important to me from a personal standpoint, maybe it deserves a little more attention here.

So let’s start at the beginning. In grade eleven, the year I was diagnosed with asthma, gym class was not mandatory. This is likely both a blessing and a curse in that 1) My asthma was not managed well; 2) I did not have a family doctor, thus contributing to point 1; 3) I had not done anything more than a 1K walk since grade ten; 4) Being required to be physically active would have likely made me catch my asthma earlier and receive proper treatment sooner [Read: for me, “take your blue inhaler and you’ll be fine” is not proper treatment].

Fast forward to August 2008 — I’m using my rescue inhaler three to four times per day every day, and was symptomatic between doses finding myself awaiting the four hour mark so I could take my inhaler again (in that regard, I’m sort of a badass now and will dose more than two puffs every four hours if necessary).  Two months into my mandatory grade 12 phys ed classes I finally got put on additional asthma medicine (FloVent), which didn’t help as much as it should.

Fast forward to January when something made me decide to take dance of all things (how rad is it my high school had a dance class?).  Yeah, still got the uncontrolled asthma going on, still winter (my bad season), and now I’m basically going from zero to sixty in terms of exercise.  That’s gonna go well, right?  I spent more time than I care to sitting on the sidelines on days that i just couldn’t do it.  I started up on Singulair midway through the term, which was later discontinued as it was decided it wasn’t doing anything.  Towards the very end of my grade 12 year, I was started on Symbicort in place of the FloVent, and things finally started feeling a little bit better.

Around this time, midway through the term, I think, is when I connected with Steve, who has since become an amazing role model and friend. Steve was imperative in helping me get the asthma sorted out better and totally awesome in encouraging the physical activity. I strongly believe that if it weren’t for Steve that I probably 1) wouldn’t be a kinesiology major right now, and 2) would likely have just started sitting on my ass again after dance ended in June.  I started fitness walking around this time until it because freezing.

Fast forward again to midway through first year. It’s the winter, early 2010, the asthma sucks, and I start going to the gym. In no way was my asthma controlled, but it was better than it was nearly two years later, and I was sick and tired of waiting around for something good to happen. So I go to the gym. Take my inhaler beforehand, whatever, go give’r.

Here’s the deal: I went to the gym again today, and the issue is kind of just the same.  Especially in winter (granted, it is currently unseasonably warm, so I’m doing better than expected) I just cough a lot. It doesn’t really matter what’s up, good day/bad day, I just cough a lot, especially when I’m exercising. It’s one of the reasons I hate going to the gym, because I hate people staring when I cough like the guy beside me was today, and I hate grossing people out.  I hate freaking people out.  I’ve had enough of those experiences too–grade 12 gym when I crashed on the bleachers following running the last two minutes of the twelve minute run after walking the bulk of it because i was so freaking tight and didn’t know it was okay to take my inhaler again since I’d just taken it.  Then, in like, 2010 or something pushing myself way too hard and getting way too tight on the elliptical and having to stop, use the wall to support myself and take my inhaler. My friend who was beside me basically had no idea what was going on as she’d never seen my asthma get that bad before.  So the freaking out people thing? I’ve done it, and I hate it, and I try really hard to avoid that kind of stuff.  Like, at the start line of my first 10K, I took my inhaler and my coworker, standing beside me, didn’t even notice.

It’s why I prefer to work out alone, because then I can cough and cough up shit and nobody is there to get grossed out, and not have people staring at me every time I cough like the dude in the gym yesterday on the bike beside me. Like, sorry? [Related: No, I wasn’t breathing great at the gym, or before for that matter, so I was awake at 6 AM and don’t feel so good today, but in my mind it’s worth it.]

Since then my medication regime has switched up and things are better. It takes me three inhalers daily and usually a daily hit or two of the rescue inhaler (at least). But you know what? I’m doing it. It’s hard and it sucks sometimes, but it’s worth it.  It’s even more worth it when on occasion I can kick my non asthmatic friends’ butts endurance-wise, or in that ‘yeah, i have kinda shitty lungs and still do this, so . . . what’s your excuse for not taking care of your body?’

So yeah, exercise is still a current issue. That may never change. I just basically don’t care anymore, I try not to let myself be limited, and if this is as good as it’s getting, then I’m just gonna keep pushing unless I’m having issues when not exerting myself.  I’ll probably never be a great athlete, but what counts is that I’m getting out there and doing it and trying.  My current goal come spring will be training to walk a half marathon in Fall 2012.  Maybe I’ll feel like an athlete after that or something.

Yeah, chronic disease sucks. And yeah, it makes stuff in general way harder. But your body can only give you what you give it.  So what choice are you making on that?  Grab your goal, make your plan, and go for it. Whether it’s being able to run a marathon or walk up your stairs or play with your kids . . . you can do it. Own it.

What’s your story? Leave me a comment, or e-mail me about how you’re kicking ignorance through fitness.  Because unlike asthma, CF, MS, COPD, diabetes, heart disease or something else you may be facing . . . ignorance is a curable disease.  I’d love guest posts on the subject, so if you’re comfortable and would like me to share your story here, I’d be honoured — just let me know.

life / quotes / wellness

resonate.

• by kerri

I’m currently in the midst of juggling school, writing a paper, falling further behind in readings, navigating some other stuff, work and picking up where I left off after an intense weekend away at the youth retreat — sometimes picking up after just a couple days away feels like picking up after so much longer.

in an e-mail I got from Jay [my prof] today about some of the above, he added these quotes to the end:

“Learning is how children use experience to modify behaviour. Play is how children use behaviour to modify experience”

–Marshall

“Even in the midst of our own struggles, we can offer encouragement. Even during our personal low periods, we can continue to try and be a mentor to those around us.  If we are honest about what we are facing, we can offer hope to others that they are not alone.”

–John Wooden

Total resonation.

 

books / health + fitness / wellness

books are a road map, not a therapist

• by kerri

To begin, I preface this with a warning that I am going to probably use the word bullshit with some frequency in this post.  Because there’s not another word quite like it.  [Also, why is it bullshit and not dogshit or monkeyshit?  Also, why is it that spell check says that bullshit is correct, but I get red squiggles under dogshit and monkeyshit?]

The latest book I read was My Choice, My Life: Realizing Your Ability to Create Balance in Life by Jay M. Greenfeld.  That’s right, the same Jay that teaches me Physical Activity: Promotion and Adherence.  That dude motivates me so much in class I figured I needed to buy his book to continue the process come December.  Looking beyond the title (which though true, I admit, is kind of cheesy, but it’s a thousand times better than the titles of a variety of self-help books noted later).  Also, it starts off with a Monopoly analogy that carries through the book–I freaking love Monopoly, so this worked well for me.  It’s packed full of tangible tips and discussion within a fact-based but easy-to-read format.  They’re also written in a similar style to how he talks, which is epic [except class is more hilarious. Books are business and such].   Since finishing it yesterday, I started on the venture to find a new book to read.

I find it ironic that as I’m forced to read non-fiction all school year, that since starting second year my book choices have gravitated from fiction to non-fiction for the most part.  I started off reading stuff like Blue Like Jazz and have a bunch of other half-finished Christian books on the go, which will likely never get finished as they sometimes have the tendency to piss me off or lose me mid-book.  This is likely in similar vein to how I dropped Exploring the Bible and Religion and Pop Culture early on in the big picture of the course.  Like, Jesus, I love You, Dude, but Your followers can be a little intense.  After abandoning True Religion for the second time [which is actually pretty good] and never finishing Crazy Love, I then moved on to Fred Engh’s Why Johnny Hates Sports — if you’re in any way responsible for a child’s involvement in sport or physical activity, it’s awesome and I definitely recommend it.

So between that, The War of Art and Bethany Hamilton’s Soul Surfer, those are basically the latest non-school related books I’ve read.

The hunt for new books often finds me on Amazon, but I may morph out to The Book Depository to see what they have to offer [hello, FREE SHIPPING].  I’m hooked on this whole “own the behaviour and change it” thing.  Because it applies to freaking everything.  it has me perusing the Health & Fitness and Self-Help sections on Amazon.

Seriously?  The bulk of Self-Help titles are bullshit.  Self-Help in itself is probably the farthest thing from bullshit.  What’s bullshit about wanting to improve yourself, better yourself, grow deeper in things?  Nothing at all.

The fact that Self Help books are so lame for the most part, though?  That’s total bullshit.

Self-Help is beyond everything with the word “diet” in the title, or with buff men on the cover.  It’s beyond anything involving weight loss and anything within a timeframe.  Change has no timeframe and no end-point.  It’s beyond a book on a single domain of health, like is commonly done with books on spirituality like The Power of Now or emotional wellbeing such as Emotional Intelligence 2.0.  No, adding 2.0 to a title doesn’t make it any cooler, I think it actually makes it lamer.  It’s beyond the notion that a book on a type of therapy can be therapy, beyond authors think a book or even a workbook that they’ve written can be your therapist.

Sorry, my blank-lined, empty-paged notebook is my therapist.  It’s good enough for me.  If I ever find the need for a real therapist, i’m sure I’d be talking to a person and not reading a book. [Actually, I think we all need therapy, but that’s sort of unattainable, and a topic for another day].

Self-Help is about empowerment.  About you changing you. If applicable, maybe it’s change using concepts and ideas written in a book.  By writing a book, the author is not automatically changing you.  The majority of the time, the author of a book writes within his or her area of expertise, and so they should.  But as a person, you are more than one dimension.  We’re beautiful and broken, and a beautiful and broken mess of physical, emotional, social and spiritual beings.  We’re surrounded by different things [environment] and we do different things [occupation].  We all have different perceptions on each of these things, and while books can help us figure out where we’re at or where our beliefs lie . . . our beliefs should not come from a book.  You changing you is so not bullshit.

It’s beyond your body, beyond your emotions, your spirituality or religion, beyond your environment and beyond your social network.  It’s the intermingling of all of the above that makes a truly effective basis for change.

A road map is fine.  But road maps still mean that you take the journey yourself, choose where you’re going, and choose which turns to take or where to deviate from the directed plan.  Books, and dare I say education are the same.  The information is given to you.  What you do with it when you close the book is up to you.