From the first time I heard the title track of the Incubus album Make Yourself seven years ago, I’ve (as I always am overanalyzing) constantly listened with a new appreciation of autonomy; of choice. The world only shapes us as we allow it to. Consciousness, mindfulness of what we are doing has every ability to win out if we let it.  Nobody is in charge of our reality except for ourselves.

if i hadn’t made me / i would have been made somehow. / if i hadn’t assembled myself, i’d have fallen apart by now. / if i hadn’t made me / i’d be more inclined to bow / powers that be would have swallowed me up, but that’s more than i can allow.

if you let ’em make you, they’ll make you papier-mache. / at a distance you’re strong, until the wind comes / then you crumble and blow away. / if you let ’em fuck you / there will be no foreplay / rest assured, they’ll screw you complete / till your ass is blue and grey.

you should make ammends with you / if only for better health, better health. / but if you really want to live / why not try and make yourself? / make yourself.

if i hadn’t made me / i’d have fallen apart by now / i won’t let ’em make me / it’s more than i can allow / so when i make me / i won’t be papier mache. / and if i fuck me, i’ll fuck me in my own way / fuck me in my own way.

make yourself.

–make yourself, incubus

There is the reality that we are shaped by our surroundings, however, we are not created/formed by them.  We can decide how we choose to let our circumstances alter our realities. It’s an intentional process of growth.

If I hadn’t made me, I would have been made somehow.

Letting go of apathy can be extremely hard–it’s evident in some past posts that I’ve been trying to let go of spiritual apathy for almost a year and a half now, and I’m still stuck.  In the process of that apathy though . . . I am allowing myself to explore my thoughts deeper through my disconnection. And that, i think, is a good thing.  Looking back on the last seven years, it is completely obvious that I have been being shaped, and then remodelling myself from what I did and didn’t like spiritually–kissing “religion” goodbye; preachiness goodbye; spiritual bullshit goodbye.  It’s not by the book, it’s not to the letter, but I am so much happier this way.

Assembl[ing] myself.

Spiritually, I’ve figured out for myself that it’s okay if I don’t follow all the “rules”. Others may not be okay with this . . . but that’s okay.

To me, that means love is love. Maybe it means “broken rules” and disconnect. All that can be okay if I let it be okay. It’s experiential, it’s experimental, it’s journeying with God . . . what’s the point of having a story if there’s not story to tell?

Powers that be would have swallowed me up, but that’s more than I can allow.

Though it sometimes perhaps felt like a curse, the fact that I simply couldn’t allow myself to become a cookie-cutter clone in the past has worked out to my advantage. The world has shaped me in many good ways, taught me many tough lessons, but in the end, I’ve still come out of it myself. “I don’t know what I am, but I’m not a category.” [inspectors of inspectors, driftless pony club.]

If you let ’em make you, they’ll make you papier-mache.

Choices, friends and good things, good influences, have lead me to where I am.  Mostly healthy in spite of this thing called chronic illness. Happy most of the time. A sense of insatiable wanderlust that is being fulfilled in more unexpected ways than I could have ever dreamed. I’ve fought myself. I’ve fought with the world around me.  And . . . I grew. To realize the importance of growing through these experiences.

You should make ammends with you if only for better health. But if you really want to live why not try and make yourself.

The world can impact me, shake me, teach me . . . but I am who I am.  If I’m not on the right path, well, I’m quite enjoying this one–so, if I’m fucking up, I’m fucking up my own way: the way that will teach me something and help me see things better every day.

If I hadn’t made me I’d have fallen apart by now […] and if I fuck me, I’ll fuck me in my own way.

make yourself.

We make ourselves. I make myself.

make yourself.

change your thoughts and you change your world

–norman vincent peale

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, even before this quote came into my life.

We define our own variables, our own thoughts, our own worlds.

We have the power to choose how we think about things in our lives, whether those things are positive or negative.  We have the chose to determine whether we are going to be broken down by these things, these circumstances, or if we are going to use them to build ourselves up, and perhaps in turn, use the change in ourselves to build the people around us up.

We can choose to reach farther and climb over the obstacles, or we can choose to freeze in a wave of self-doubt and be stopped by them.  There is no limit to how long we could stay frozen, but any length of time is keeping us from truly experiencing what we were created to do, and wasting precious moments of which we will never have enough.  How we see our world is nobody’s choice but our own, and because of this we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.  Every single decision we make and every goal we strive to reach, whether it seems small or seems big, affects us in a huge way.

the ripple effect is too good not to mention / if you’re not affected, you’re not paying attention / it’s too good not to have an effect

–rogues, incubus

We have the choice to change our thoughts to change our worlds.

Don’t compromise. Go get it.