friends / life / pandemic

self-isolation: day 50 – 7+ weeks in

• by kerri

Manitoba is beginning to open up. I am continuing to stay home.

I don’t really have words anymore, but I will not be going to a patio, a store, a mall.
And I am pleased to see that many Manitoba businesses are continuing to serve customers in safe ways until we figure out better what is going on with COVID-19.

Breaking the monotony.
Week 6, last week, I had a non-human house-guest. Now, I understand there is possibility that pets may spread COVID-19. Steve and I had both been home for 5+ weeks. We felt safe enough that we do a distanced handoff of Murray, wearing masks, so Murray and I could entertain each other a bit.

I somehow got work done last week which was shocking as I generally just want to stare at/cuddle Murray when he comes to visit. He also got lots of walks between my mom and I, and got a change of scenery. (Okay, he practically takes himself for a walk. I honestly clip him to my belt loop sometimes, and he does nothing more than casually glance at other dogs – meanwhile a man asked if I wanted to trade dogs (obviously not), and I saw a woman struggle getting tangled in her dogs while I just kept walking with my perfect Murray – seriously, makes me so damn proud. To all the people at Guide Dogs for the Blind and volunteers that were a part of his journey – beyond amazing work going on there.

Okay I know you just care about the pictures, here’s the sweet pupper. (I am trying to figure out how to embed the album, but this an API is apparently more than I can handle at 10:59 pm?) 

 

Thanks Steve for letting me have him for a few days. He can come back and visit anytime. (But I hope we can have coffee again sometime, too. I mean, human we, not Murray.) 

Gifts from the Internet
Last week’s gift from the internet is this delightful remix of Ontario premier Doug Ford calling protesters at Queen’s Park “a bunch of yahoos”, and getting remixed.

And I would be a terrible blogger if I didn’t mentioned the original Canadian pandemic remix “Speaking Moistly”. 
It is a key part of the Canadian COVID-19 pandemic experience now.

Yeah, shit is serious out there. The internet is keeping many of us some degree of sane (especially those like me who have not been in a public place for 50 days.)

Oh, my last gift from the Internet (that I had to pay for) was that I finally entered 2012 and downloaded Animal Crossing: New Leaf for my 2DS. With everyone talking about Animal Crossing: New Horizons, I had to refresh myself of the basics of what it was about. 
It’s been very worth the $32 thus far and I’ve only had it like 24 hours. 

ADHD + learning disabilities / friends / mental health

another ADHDaversary: old friends, new stories.

• by kerri

It’s the first day of spring and, how they say, the anniversary of the first day of the rest of my life. There have only been three posts here between today and my last ADHDaversary—my fifth. And I can chalk that up, too, to ADHD.

The words from last year’s post are just as true today, except for some numbers that have increased by one. I’m still just doing my best to balance everything (which some days isn’t too good), to try to focus on what matters, to try to be mindful. Yes, ADHD makes that all a challenge, and general life makes it a challenge, too. That’s just how it works. We’re all constantly works in progress and I’m down with that (mostly. I mean, it can suck sometimes having to work at being awesome).

Every so often though, I’m reminded of why I share these stories online. And, without me realizing it this time until my ADHDaversary popped up on my calendar, just that happened yesterday. A friend from high school who I’ve recently re-connected with mentioned her current quest towards diagnosis of whatever may be causing her struggles with executive function (more about WTF that means here), and beginning ADHD medication. I threw her a blog link to my starting concerta post from 2013 and from a Facebook post she sent me a message, and a conversation began. (It also covered where has vegetarian/vegan gravy, because hello, you can’t expect anything to stay topical, who do you think we are? But I digress…)

Again, I was reminded that at least on occasion, people are actually reading this thing. I was reminded that you just never know who your story is going to impact. Not just in this case, but within a single-sentence story my friend told me:
“[My fiancée] originally actually told me about how you were instrumental in her getting her diagnosis and treatment!”

This is why the power of simply telling your story, sharing with people where you’re at is so important. Because someone who comes after you will also be there too, needing that reassurance that they are not the only one. No matter what that story is.

So, I will continue to trust the process that this, too, is getting to the right person, when they need it. 

Your story is important.
Keep going. 

ADHD + learning disabilities / advocacy / friends / life / mental health

positively life-altering: on ADHD medication

• by kerri

Until you have been in my brain you cannot tell me ADHD is not real.
Science says ADHD is real.
Why I have to on occasion argue this fact with people, is still very confusing to me. Although I guess it is the same reason people choose not to vaccinate their children and re-start outbreaks of diseases previously eradicated from the developed world—they choose to remain ignorant.

As I once said to Jess in Calgary, “Stupid people are not your problem”.

Sometimes stupid people make themselves our problems, though, which is unfortunate.

Other times, though, smart people affirm what you’re putting out there. (Thank God for smart people!)

Yesterday morning, I shared a video on Facebook about “pill shaming” people with mental health issues. You can see the video here.

And yes, ADHD very much falls into this category. After all, everyone is just popping Ritalin (or now, Adderall more accurately) as a study drug and nobody actually has ADHD, right? Wrong. Obviously.

I have a have a friend who recently started ADHD medication again, after we had a conversation about ADHD on a dark drive home from a friend’s party in the country (I have a half written post about this somewhere that I really need to get out into the world). He, like me, has found the of meds after not treating his ADHD for over a decade positively life altering.

Yet, when he posted this on Facebook, that he was starting meds, the doubters, the disbelievers came. And—thankfully—many of us fought them back with science. I’m not sure disbelievers enjoy PubMed links being thrown at them, but damn it, I went there. Because that is how we fight ignorance and misinformation.

With freaking science.

Yesterday, when I posted the link from Mental Health on The Mighty, I did so with the following text:

This.

I’ve had so many people ask me why I need ADHD medication.
Because there is an imbalance in my neurotransmitters, that’s why. No I can’t just “try harder”. I tried life on hard mode without a diagnosis for 21 years.
Maybe it doesn’t keep me alive like other meds do, but it does make my life so much better.

Six minutes later, my friend from above commented this:

I like how this publicly happened on my Facebook lol

I replied

Um, FACT.
And we SHUT DOWN those haters. 😉

Alongside this, as of the time I am writing this, 20 of my friends chose to “like” or “love” this post. Another friend commented “Yes! Well said.”

There is power in finding people who get it. People who understand.

Because we all spend enough time fighting misinformation. Fighting people who shame you for not trying hard enough, even if you’ve tried harder than just about everybody for decades to get by without medication—often without so much as a diagnosis to understand why your brain is differently wired.

It’s much better when we fight ignorance and misinformation together.

The only way we can stop stigma is to share our stories, and being fiercely proud of our stories—they make us who we are. ADHD is a piece of me that makes me who I am. I’m proud of that piece, proud of my quirky, neuroatypical brain. Of seeing life differently. I chose meds to be part of my journey, to help me harness the joys of my ADHD brain better. Vyvanse (or previously Concerta) doesn’t cure me. It doesn’t make me neurotypical. It just makes me better able to balance the joyful parts of my ADHD with the frustrating parts (and I still get endlessly frustrated with myself. But it’s so much better).

Sometimes medicine is a part of “trying harder”.

And I’m thankful that many of my friends seem to get that.

adventures / friends / life / visual impairment

that time we got chased by a peacock at the zoo

• by kerri

Today is the last day of school, so Steve and I thought it would be a good day to check out the dinosaur exhibit at the zoo, without a lot of kids running around (just the under 5 types that happened to be there). So, off we went to the zoo with Guide Dog Murray to visit the dinosaurs, because we thought Murray would probably enjoy that (okay not really, but we wanted to go and it’s always cute taking pictures of adorable puppies with things).

https://i0.wp.com/farm8.staticflickr.com/7547/28007443725_395e2b6f77.jpg?resize=375%2C500&ssl=1

As we walked down the path to the dinosaur exhibit, there were some peacocks ahead, which was cool until the peacocks caught sight of us and our black, four legged friend named Murray.

And they started running.
Towards us.
AT US.

I’m not sure if I swore in front of all the children, and I’m sure Steve doesn’t remember either because we ran.

I didn’t actually realize until I looked back after we’d started booking it back to the entrance that there were not one, but two peacocks chasing us and squawking at us. Somewhere in there I finally thought to scream which freaked them out a bit and they stopped charging towards us. We kept running until they were out of sight.

Of course, Murray got all excited that we were running and he was just bouncing around as we ran. Silly dog, had zero clue that peacocks wanted to eat him. Which is probably for the better. Look, despite how adorable tall Steve finds my short legs running, I only ever run for legitimate reasons—also I learned how to run in university. #kinwin.

After about 200 metres of running (I don’t know how far it was, I think that was Steve’s guess), I could no longer see the terrifying peacocks. We stopped and slightly more calmly made it back inside the entrance area where we paid, and walked up to the ticket lady that had processed our admission and informed all the zoo staff that a service dog was coming in by radio.

“Hi, so we just got chased by a peacock out there…” I told her “Can we get a refund and we’ll come back one day without the dog?”
“…Oh wow. Uh yeah let me just go talk to my boss.”
“I know, things you never thought you’d hear when you came into work today, right?”

We got our refund after our five minute zoo trip and went to the gift shop.

Murray still got to see some dinosaurs, but they were tinier than anticipated.

https://i0.wp.com/farm8.staticflickr.com/7386/27393532213_23636b1b9d.jpg?resize=500%2C375&ssl=1

And there’s the story of the shortest zoo trip in history, probably.

And the story of that time I got chased by a peacock with a dude who never saw it coming and a puppy who probably thought we were playing. 😉

adventures / books / friends / life / writing

goals for 2016: simplicity.

• by kerri

I’m not a resolutionist for the simple reason is that I don’t think resolutions help to build habits. People get off to a great start or a bad start and often that sets the tone for the year—at some point, I read on Forbes.com that only 8% of people accomplish their new years resolutions. And I’d probably definitely be in the 92% that doesn’t. (Look, I’m not being a defeatist here, just honest.)

Simplicity.

Simplicity is the intention here. Akin to the final notes of 2015’s soundtrack, here’s what I’m aiming to accomplish in 2016—even if that takes me the next 362 days to sort-of get right.

1) Write with my hands more. 
I picked up a couple unlined Moleskines on sale at Home Outfitters on Boxing Day. Since January 1, I’ve been trying to write daily, even if just a few lines (or, not lines. I’m hoping to be freed by the totally blank pages. 

Not that I consistently write on lines or anything. Overrated.

2) Read 40 books.
It’s a little more realistic than 75. In progress—new for 2016—Freak the Mighty by Rodman Philbrick and an advance review copy of a book called Millersville by Brendan Detzner.

3) That self-care/mindfulness/exercise/wellness thing.

4) Create.
Even if that’s just colouring, or writing more (even typing). In some fashion, I want to aim to write (non-work-things) for 20 minutes a day—at least. Goes back to the “just start” thing.

5) Engage more on Twitter.
Sometimes it seems like it’s counter productive to have a goal to engage more with people on social media, but you know what? I think I engaged a lot less that year, and realized repeatedly how much I missed it. So, the Twitter part of my heart is getting some focus. 🙂

That’s it.

Keeping it simple—God knows I’ll complicate stuff in other ways. Let’s go.